LOTS of children

Okay…. trying to get a cute picture to go with this and the Mac is being picky with the card reader. It holds a personal grudge from all the times I have not gone through its "eject card safely" protocol.

I guess I thought a cute picture would go nicely, but oh well. Probably I can add one later, in theory.

I have been thinking a lot about number of kids.

This isn't about the "right" number of kids.

I just think there are a lot of odd perceptions out there about this and wanted to address several points as pertain to number of children. This is not meant to be in any sort of organized fashion because, let's face it, I'm not particularly good at constructing arguments, and it is way past my bed time. So here goes.

1) The first, quite obviously, being, why do strangers feel the need to comment on the number of children you have or do not have? I find it socially inappropriate and rude! There are 5 million little articles out there on Facebook about "57 things not to tell a woman with 7 kids/woman with no kids/woman with 2.3 kids" but I think it all boils down to the same thought - not really your business, stranger dude/lady.
Scenario: I'm scoping out the organic vs. conventional vs. hoping for some organic in the red-band section bananas at Fred Meyer in Eugene. Isaac, London and Sonia are with me. Isaac and London are each nicely holding on to one side of the cart, Sonia in the seat. Hm, so many bananas, so many choices, choices.
Random stranger: "Wow, you have your hands full. Are you going to have any more?" (not of bananas, mind you!)
My thoughts: HOLD UP DUDE. I'm checking out bananas. I didn't ask you about your sex life and I don't particularly feel the need to share mine with yours. And technically my hands are completely free. Note how I am turning the bananas as I visually inspect them for ripeness.
What I actually say: "Oh, hopefully some day!" or "That would be nice!"

Just sayin', peeps. Next time you have a thought about a random stranger, think about what your mama would say if you just blurted it out to them. Kinda like Isaac telling random smokers that smoking is bad for them. Except in that case there is more scientific backing to his assertion - still not socially appropriate.

Let me take this a little further though. I feel like it isn't an appropriate question for many situations at all. Maybe a heart-to-heart with a family member in a totally non-judgmental way, or a close friend. Maybe. Maybe. Not small talk chit-chat at a party. When people ask me this, I give a vague answer, and guess what? I purposefully do not ask the same question back because I find it inappropriate. So, if you ever ask me and I don't ask you back, you are going to have to volunteer that information if you want me to know. Just trying to model what I consider socially appropriate behavior. I have high hopes for myself and generally don't meet them, but on this issue… yeah….I think if everyone just left people's number of children decision up to them, that would probably be more socially appropriate. Let's not get into any philosophical arguments here because I think I have a pretty valid social etiquette argument and that is all I am trying to make.

2) Someone actually said once (she was an only child, so maybe that is why), when I mentioned a friend who had six children (I use number of children as street cred for any special knowledge - not sure how others use it - in this case it was how to properly care for the hair of biracial African-Caucasian babies), "Wow, she must be really fertile!" I had to pause and process this for a second. "No, " I responded, "the oldest is 11 and the youngest was just born…" Then I realized that other people might have a totally warped view of what is natural, what with all that personal biochemistry modification a lot of women do here in the U.S.A. I will use my mother-in-law once again as the example of all that is perfect in the world (have I done this before? Maybe only in verbal conversations. But, it is true. She did a good job.). She had 12 children, naturally spaced about 2 years apart, and didn't start particularly young (probably around 18 or so) and had children for the time she could naturally have children. So, in my mind, 12 is probably about the number (give or take a few) that a woman could expect to have in her lifetime if she were to start at a reasonable age of at least being an adult, then going until menopause. Again, my mother-in-law is pretty close to perfect so I know not everyone can live up to her example, but I'm just saying, for someone who is healthy that this number might be about average natural lifespan fertility. So six would not be outrageously fertile. This friend might have just started later.

3) So, let's break it down into the actual numbers. What really set off my whole thought process with this topic is that someone, on a spreadsheet somewhere, in a certain co-op in which I bought some items, was asking people to put "number of kids" and for herself put "lots". So in my mind, that means "8 or more". I later find out she actually has a grand total of "four". Wah-wah. Then I see this again, somewhere, for someone ELSE who also has only FOUR kids. Oh dear! The semantics police in me is on high alert because now people are flinging the word "lots" around and they only mean "four" people. Just to check I'm going to look up the definition on dictionary.com. Maybe I'm wrong.
Nope. As a pronoun from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lots?s=t:

— pron  (preceded by a )

1.

a great number or quantity: a lot to do ; a lot of people ; a lot of trouble I guess it's that "great" number that throws people off. Obviously, four kids is great. I grew up as one of four kids and it was always a party at our house. I didn't think there were "lots" of us though. So let's take a look at that definition of "great" from the same pretty decent source. great   [greyt]  Show IPA adjective, great·er, great·est. 1. unusually or comparatively large in size or dimensions: A great fire destroyed nearly half the city. 2. large in number; numerous: Great hordes of tourists descend on Europe each summer. 3. unusual or considerable in degree, power, intensity, etc.: great pain. 4. wonderful; first-rate; very good: We had a great time. That's great! 5. being such in an extreme or notable degree: great friends; a great talker. Okay, but in all seriousness, people, let's think about this for real. Unless you are going with number 5 as your definition of great, which is not the one I think the definers of "a lot" intended, and you think 4 is extreme just because you do, I am ready to totally discount things you say if you start referring to your four kids as "a lot". It might be "a lot of work" (unusual or considerable in degree) or "a lot of exercise" or "a lot of stress" or "a lot of noise" but it is not "a lot of kids". Last time I checked, kids are people. And four people is not "a lot". If you said, "Oh, yeah, a LOT of people came to my thesis defense" or "There were a LOT of people at my party," and I later found out that there were a grand total of 4 (and three of them were your committee ;)) I would have to start wondering if you were stretching the truth in other things. So, after having thought about it and talking with people from families of different sizes, these are my semantics police guidelines for how all should refer to number of children if they are going to be sissies and not just flat out say the number: Number of kids- 1-4: Small family. You're barely over one hand to count ALL the members of your family including the parents. Small beans. This is firmly in small party territory. Nothing wrong with it, but it's not "lots". 5-7: Medium size. Still just somewhere in the middle. Not quite enough to say you had a big party, so not enough to say you have a big family. Because, a family is kind of like a party at least 50% of the time. Still no "lots" usage rights. 8-9: Questionable middle ground. You could probably start calling your family big at 8 if you wanted to, because technically it takes all fingers on BOTH hands to count all your family members, but not quite all the fingers to count all the kids. But, you've done a lot of work at this point and there are probably some crazy boys or rowdy girls in the mix so knock yourself out if you want to say your family is big. 10 +: You have earned the right to call your family big, if you so choose. You have to use both hands just to count the kids and that is fair enough evidence for using the word "lots".  You are pretty close to the natural fertility average (see above).  If you said you had a "pretty big" party and there were 10-12 people there, I wouldn't be too quick to poo-poo you. Not as impressive as a 50 person party, but maybe with extended family you could swing it. Those are all my thoughts. Someone more enlightened, feel free to share yours. Just don't say you have lots of kids (unless of course, you meet my criteria specified above - then have at it!).

climbers

Real climbers start their days out with a good breakfast.

Bananas and cheerios...

 or pancakes....

 Then the climbing practice begins. 

Climbers practice on stairs...

 And on trees...

Everyday they get better at climbing! 

Isaac's 4th birthday party

We had Isaac's birthday party the weekend before his actual birthday. It was fun and luckily the weather was nice so we were able to make our park plans happen. Now that I think about it, a consistent theme in Papa and my relationship has been that for social events, we prefer to spend more money on food than the "venue". I would say maybe it was just me, but Papa is actually that way too. He actually fine-tuned the bissap recipe too and it turned out really good. Without further ado, here are the pictures!

Ah, yes, I forgot to mention that Isaac wanted a "rainbow superhero" party. So here is the rainbow spiderman cake before assembly...plus some cupcakes. I made it from scratch to avoid food allergies to soy for one kid, and the Taste of Home cookbook came through for me! It was edible. Hooray!

 Then we had the party and I took about three pictures of Isaac then forgot about the camera. Isaac had a lovely flower crown made for him by one of the moms. We live in Eugene, folks, and we are all flower children here.

 No, but I actually thought it was cute!

 One of the few pictures where you can see the rainbow spiderman cake pre-consumption. Note my total cop-out by just making a spider web with a spider on top instead of a Spiderman picture. Isaac didn't care though.

 In fact, it was kind of windy, and I couldn't light  the candles, so we had Isaac pretend he was blowing them out, and he was a good sport about that too.

 This is not the best picture of me, but I liked it because it has a lot of people in the picture and one day it will help me remember some of the people who came.

 Isaac had fun playing with the kids. I noticed he played a lot with his classmates. It is interesting, because he already spends a lot of time with them. I guess maybe it is like adults - the more you get to know people, the more likely you are to either want to spend more time with them or not spend time with them. Maybe?

I'm so glad Papa took some pictures! It really was a nice day at the park. I am looking forward to a year in the future when Isaac's actual birthday will fall on a weekend again. Those first two years were so convenient! We enjoyed the party very much. If you brought a gift, thank you for not making it too big, and if you didn't bring a gift, thank you for reading the invitation carefully. We really have a lot of stuff in our house and now I will need to go through the toys again and give some of them away - well, the ones we don't use anymore or are not in the best shape...

2

Isaac is now 2, making him the biggest little boy around here.

On his birthday, he really wanted to wear his snow jacket to go to church. It wasn't cold out, but he insisted so much that I figured I would let him find out for himself if he had made an appropriate wardrobe choice.

 Then, he fell asleep at Mass and got a little birthday blessing. When we got home, he woke up, so he really only had about a 1 hour nap, which is a little short for him. We started setting up for Isaac's little birthday party. I have some better pictures (from Nana's camera) and will share them soon. Out of consideration for people who may not want pictures of their children on the internet, I had to leave out a few cute ones for now, but at least you can get the idea..

When everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to Isaac, it was the cutest thing ever. He was beside himself with happiness. I think he had been anticipating that moment for so long (for him), since so many of his daycare friends also had May birthdays. He was smiling, squealing, and wiggling around. His nose was even running and he wiped it and got a little wayward snot going off to the side. But he was so happy, it was absolutely worth all the preparation. I could just tell he was thinking, "It's finally my turn! They are singing to me!"

We didn't put the two candles on a cake because recently Isaac has been getting a little spit in there when he blows them out. On his actual birthday, he was totally appropriate so I guess it was a needless precaution.

 Nana, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Mikey, Uncle Greg, Auntie Anna, Baby London, and one of Uncle Greg's friends stayed behind for a little while after the party was over. Isaac opened a few presents, and really liked all of them. I'm not sure what he liked more: the garden trowel of his very own, his new toy boats, or the Bambi DVD. I'm glad we went with no presents for the party though because we are seriously running out of space in this little apartment. I'll have to sort hrough Isaac's old toys and see if there are any it would be appropriate to part with.

Then, after a long, happy birthday, Isaac was very tired. He actually fell asleep while Mama was getting ready for bed. He is such a big little boy, and we love him so much!

bronze statuettes, cleats, chopsticks and tempura shrimp

Here's what our busy little man has been up to lately.
He likes to get up on the chair and get into the quarters in this little African statuette. We like to keep our laundry quarters there. Now that I've admitted that on the internet, hopefully no one will break it to our house to steal our wealth of laundry quarters.
Sometimes, Isaac likes to put the quarters back too, but lately he just takes them out and puts them various places in our apartment.

He also still likes to try on big shoes. He found Mama's old soccer cleats the other day.

But they posed a problem when he tried to get out the door.

We also made tempura shrimp (it was really easy as they were frozen and we just baked them). Then, Isaac experimented with chopsticks as food tools.

I don't think they are meant to be used as spears most of the time, Isaac.

He tried to use them to cut the tempura shrimp.

But then he asked for a knife, so I gave in and gave him a butter knife. He is really into knives - I think this is because they have a wooden "knife" at daycare with those little velcro wooden kitchen foods that you can "cut". He really likes that set of toys. I think he is starting to understand now that he can't touch the sharp knives - perhaps because I always tell him "No! Those are sharp, just for Mama to use!" He has been good about not trying to get them, although I'm not really sure if he has the concept of "sharp". That's fine by me!

On another note, Isaac does seem to have the concept of "loud". The day before we baked our tempura shrimp, I had made ribs and mac and cheese. Despite covering the ribs with aluminum foil, it appears that grease made its way out into the oven, because there was quite a bit of smoke with the shrimp. This set off the smoke alarm. When Isaac covered his ears later (after the smoke alarm was not going off any more), I said, "Oh yes, that was loud." He immediately made the connection and said "dow". Even the next two days, he has continued to pause sometimes when he is playing, cover his ears or point to the smoke alarm and say "dow". Poor little guy - it must have made a big impression on him. The oven has been doing better the past few days, so no more "dow" sounds for the moment.

Isaac did eat some of the tempura shrimp, which made me very happy. He doesn't usually eat very much at all, and it worries me. Of course, having the feeding and swallowing class at the same time gives me an acute feeling that I am doing something wrong, even though Isaac is still high energy and looks healthy. He is still nursing, and while I was trying to check if my answer to a test question about the fat content of breastmilk was right, I found that the milk of mothers who have been nursing over a year has a higher fat content. So maybe he's getting a significant amount of calories that way? I don't know... does anyone have suggestions about the "right" thing to do so your child develops a love of solid foods? I'm trying to change my ways to align with the "right" way but both Papa and I have some anxiety about how little food Isaac eats, and that makes it hard. He doesn't eat much at daycare either, according to several people. Hm... well, we'll find out if it's affecting him weight percentile-wise at his 18 month visit on Tuesday. Can you believe that on Monday Isaac will be 18 months old?